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You may find me at
http://lesconfessionals.wordpress.com

Yes, I am aware that I change blog addresses like I change clothes.
xo
clarey

“Are you listening?” That may be the most important question any of us can ask ourselves.

It seems that males are unable to comprehend this, because well, of their nature. And I suppose, the whole Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus shindig.

The inherent flaw is that Males work by logic whereas Females work with emotions. Hence, what is the quickest way to lose your connection with a woman (or not make a connection in the first place)? Go up into your head. Start arguing logic with her. Tell her that the feelings she has expressed to you are not “logical” and make every effort you can to be “right”.

Many of us have a reflex when we feel scared or angry to become defensive and start arguing with the other person, from our heads. But this is virtually never effective for enhancing connection.

Then again, when you put a female in a tight spot, they are more likely to lash out in an attempt to hurt you, whether it be deliberate or not. If you are able to hear the hurt behind her actions and respond non-reactively to a woman’s emotions, you are so far ahead in the game, it’s ridiculous.

“Change her mood, not her mind.”

Ever heard the sentiment, “My parents screwed their lives up, and then they screwed mine.”?

I call bullshit. Yes, parents screw up - just about every day, in many different ways. Don’t you? We’re all only human after all. Kid’s problems are in a small part, a product of their parents.

But to blame your screw ups on your parents is just a weak way to escape. When kids screw up, they look for someone to blame. And mothers make the ultimate fallback. She’s everywhere, she’s human (therefore fallible), and you know what? She loves you unconditionally and ends up taking the crap you dish out to her on the off chance it may make you feel better.

What kind of half-assed deal is this? Would you be pleased if the roles were reversed? Your mum gives you unconditional love and as such is subject to your tantrums? Everyone has to learn to be responsible for their own decisions they make in life.

“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.”
Remember that. You are ultimately the one who dictates your life, much as circumstances may seem otherwise. To blame the state of your life on your parents is inexcusable. You may not agree with what they do, but at the end of the day, what do you say - “I will not do this to my kids when I eventually have them.”? So what, you leave your kids to languish by themselves, don’t coddle them, basically throw them defenseless out into the big wide world?

Or do you say, “I know my mum does all she does in to be the best parent she can be. (trust me, she really does. I know my mum does.) I don’t know how I feel about that decision she made though, so what can I learn from it to put into use if I ever have kids in the future?”

It’s all about the emotional maturity you show, and the mindset you adopt. Maybe you might be one of the 1% that suffered domestic abuse as a child - if so, my heart goes out to you because honestly, no one should ever have to endure that. But for the rest of the world, get off your high horses. Your parents can only do the best they can, don’t take the easy way out and start blaming them for all your lost opportunities in life. Start creating your own opportunities, you may be surprised what the world will give you if you are willing to have faith.

I am standing here again
in front of you
My heart in my hands
and my hopes in my eyes
I know once again
that I may be getting it broken
But I believe that
if it is you I want to be with at the end of the day
then it is you I want to be with now
Be it now, be it two months down, or even just a mere few days.
It is better to have love and lost
Then never to have loved at all.

Today, someone said to me, “I have absolutely zero zest for life. I work, but I hate office politics. I’ve a Computer Science degree which I don’t use and I hate studying”. I shared with him my dream of travel, of one day maybe becoming a fashion editor, of writing and having my opinions heard, of reaching out to people either through my words or actions. Then, I asked him what he saw himself doing, maybe say 10 years from now. “Stay at home, sleep. Work, grow old, have family, retire early and die fast”. That was his reply.

Wow, sounded so bloody depressing right?

Then I reflected. How many others do I know think the exact same way he does? And I had to admit. A sizeable few. People find themselves caught in the rat race, doing things, burning themselves out, all in the name of “doing what’s done” and in order to keep their heads floating above the water. These people are like damn robots sia! 9am clock in, 5pm clock out. Go home, complain tired. Dinner. Then it’s either legs up on the table and pass out in front of the television, or they choose to sit in front of the computer, gaming till wee hours in the morning. Rinse and repeat. No wonder tired, right? Well, I say - If you want to treadmill your life away, feel free to do so. But what happened? If I had gone up to you when you were a child, and asked you - “so what do you want to be, when you grow up?” Would you have answered me, “I don’t know, life sucks, better to retire early and die young!“? No! Then sometime, somewhere, Life happens. You compromise, you get tired, you get worn down. People tell you, “No“. “That’s not possible!“, “Stop dreaming!“. Worse, people close to you tell you these things. They must have your best interests at heart, right? It is entirely possible, I have found through personal experience, to be close to someone, want the best for them, but their thoughts are not your own. How would they know how you think, how you feel, what you want out of your life? The only framework they have to compare is against their own, and they are afraid of you failing. Maybe because they knew of someone that failed. Maybe because they themselves, once upon a time, had a dream. And then they failed. How many times have you given up on a possible dream, because these people said to you - “Stop dreaming!“?

Do you let others take hold of your steering wheel?

“We do not stop playing because we are old ; we grow old because we stop playing…”
How many people make an effort to laugh and follow their dreams, in their everyday lives? How many GIVE UP their dreams due to external circumstances? Simple fact of the matter is, you have to take time to relax each day and enjoy what each moment brings. To take you through this tough time, you have to visualize your dream - when you lose your dreams, you die . Remember what you are striving for - what you want to be and what happens once you have achieved that dream. Can you return any benefit to people around you?

We have so many people walking around us, who are already dead but do not realize it. Never lose your hope or dreams. Here is the difference between growing old and growing up - You could be six years old, lie in bed for one full year and never do a thing, and you will turn seven. If I was 99 years old, and stayed in bed rotting I would turn a hundred. Growing old does not require any talent or ability . Everybody has to grow older. However, the idea is to grow up, and always notice little opportunities that come by your way . Live your life, don’t just exist. Take risks, take chances. Enjoy each moment, have no regrets.

“People usually do not have regrets for what they did, but rather for things they did not do . The only people who fear death are those who did not live, and they are the ones who lived a life full of regrets…”

Live every moment, Laugh whenever you can, and Love deeply. That’s when you know your life has had any meaning.

Strangely enough, through eating healthier and less, I seem to have reached an equilibrium.

I remember how deceiving the portions in Perth were like. And of course, how oily (regularly having takeout in caucasian countries is generally not advised unless you have a death wish). Especially Asian food. The problem was that with my 8 to 6 daily schedule I fell into the trap of multitasking - eating whilst reading / studying / rearranging my stuff and before I knew it, I would have consumed more than I should have.

Nowadays, I guess you could say I am pickier about what I put in my mouth.

Apart from coffee from Starbucks and your good old Teh Ping from the coffeeshop, I’m pretty much off any form of sweetened beverages (with alcohol as an exception but hey). Oh, and Yakult! But that’s healthy so… *shrug*. Even so, I dislike my coffee with sugar and normally just have it with milk. Though of course, milk is fattening too. But milk… mmmm. Love it. Other than that, its pretty much water all the way. I’m no longer a drinker of coke, soda or green tea even :o The sweetened sort, of course.

Same with food, strangely enough. I mean, Singapore’s supposed to be a food paradise right? But sometimes I look at say, Macdonalds and what they serve and I literally feel physically sick because of the salt content. This hasn’t stopped me from craving (and indulging) once in awhile but I have to say that actually having a negative physical reaction to bad food is a first for me.

But in general, getting used to smaller portion sizes and eating healthier has made me actually enjoy what I’m doing. I know others may say, “But you’re not enjoying life! It’s Singapore!” Well, if I’m out with friends I don’t exactly starve myself. But yeah exactly, it IS about enjoying life. So how can I enjoy it when I’m say 50 and suffering from diabetes and hypertension and whatnot because of sloppy eating habits and a lack of exercise when I’m younger?

I think it’s time to face that your life doesn’t happen in a vacuum and what you do now will affect your life in the future. So I’m taking steps to improve my quality of life now, in order to enjoy a better quality of life later on.

Though in saying so, I haven’t been running for about a week now. :( I need to get back into the momentum! Running has become an addiction, weirdly enough. The strain you get when running, and pushing yourself past that barrier. The music urging you to go, go, go. Your feet pounding the pavement, and you just… being. The blood rushing to your skin after the end of a run. It’s all so exhilarating. xo

everyone is coming back to singapore this june! :(
tiffy, ed, lisa, anthony, joe, elvin, and cheesy.
I’m going to be uberly broke !
In addition to figuring out how I’m going to save up for the US! uggggh.

Wow. Just wow. I guess in a way, it falls into place now. After all, it did seem a little weird to get married while you’re midway through your law degree. However, I’m happy for the two of you -Calvin and Jia Ying. I’m just feeling more than a little bad that I was unable to travel up for the wedding now.

Last year screwed me up in more ways than one. I chose to deliberately cut contact from people that I once considered good friends. But then again, I had a lot of issues to deal with. I’m not a 100% sure that all those issues have been resolved. But life goes on, we just have to make the best of it that we are able to after all.

On one hand, I’m extremely happy that Ying now has a baby girl. I guess all those ECS lessons will pay off, and I definitely remember you carrying that plastic baby around to classes and us having to silence it whenever it started to “cry”! And I’m certain that Ying will make an amazing mother. But the concept of being responsible for a life at the age of 22… is just mind blowing. It just seems that life has barely started for me, I’m still finding what I want to do. And elsewhere, people are getting married, giving birth, becoming parents at the age of 20something. I guess I will be marrying old after all, with the sort of mindset I have =P or maybe settle for cats and grow old! muha. x

So here is the picture - Grace. I’m now an aunt! Oh my god! :)

Some pre wedding pictures of the stunning bride and the groom.

God must be male indeed. Do you think there’d be so many injustices if God were female? Exactly. Groove Coverage obviously weren’t thinking when they titled their song God Is A Girl.

> New Post: http://clare.lah.cc/2009/06/02/a-start/
> Updated: http://clare.lah.cc/25-quirks-about-me/

Can’t believe that I’m so lucky
I have never felt so happy
Everytime I see that sparkle in your eyes

– “One in a Million”, Miley Cyrus

In line with my ‘Life is too short’ mentality, it’s too stupid to try and rationalize why it might have happened and what it might or may never lead to. I’m just going to focus on the now and the moment, remembering the good that happened those days and the way they made me feel :) And definitely the sneaking of glances at each other in the cinema which felt like it should have been illegal. =P

I don’t even know why I keep thinking of you. Us? It’s not as if I’m starving for commitment. But it’s like, when you uncover a diamond encrusted in mud, you know? And you get the first glimpse of it and what it could potentially hold. And it dangles just out of your reach. And god knows I’m not one to deprive myself.

Either way, to me it feels like I uncovered a gem and I want to keep it =P Weird analogy but meh. I’m not even certain how to put my feelings down on paper.

If Only.

But then again, how does the phrase go? Good things come to those who wait. So I’ll dig my heels in, hope for the best and … wait.

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